Zero to ten
Eating daisies with the bewildered deer. Eyes darting, full of anticipatory fear. Fawning ingrained, don’t buck the system, my spunky way may have waned, with budding resistance.
Shining buttercup yellow under the chin. Cognitive dissonance was always near, no way to see a win. Much to my chagrin.
No apparent compromise. I could not hear the worldly wise. Where does one begin?
Eyes wide in wonderment and mainly without malice. At this point, mostly clueless that life might be flawed, although, it was mighty callous.
There was no time to be cute, or so it felt. I learned to walk before I crawled. Brought to my knees by the rattle of an angry belt. Learn to cower. I did melt.
Ten to twenty
The fears become reality, as the buck smells my scent, no more childhood, my sexual wonderment sacrificed, the male spent.
Naive and gullible, full of unhealthy attachments, it would take thirty more years to reduce and practice the art of detachments. To painfully learn self worth, finally, on my own turf.
Twenty to thirty
Survival of the fittest becomes the name of the game. Finger pointing, full of blame. Control freaks everywhere, I can’t breathe. It’s killing me. I am trapped, no where to flee.
I am dying inside. Yet, I hide. If I follow the rules of humanity, surely, I will find freedom and the courage to claim a life free from this impunity. She thought, with a mouth full of gullibility. Such a calamity.
Thirty to forty
Some wins, some loses, face to face with reality. Some fun, some grace, perhaps the time where life gets sung, at a quickened pace. Such a fascinating duality.
A small glimmer of independence noted. Oh lordy, what a crazy race!
No one can keep up with this super human pace. Not sure what happened, no time to emote, a decade done, all by rote.
Forty to fifty
Exhausted, fatigued, an overwhelmed feeling, on rinse and repeat. The all too familiar pattern. No longer intrigued. Admit defeat.
Please, I am hoping to blast off and escape to Saturn! Who turned off the lights, we need a latern.
A foreboding sense of realization. Knowing and accepting the inevitable. The end of one era, the changing of creation. Wow! Life is incredible and harsh. Sometimes, I can be such an arse.
Giving up is hard to do, ego destroyed, the humbling ensued. It feels like an eternal seasonal flu. Fevers and chills, oh, such thrills! Brrrrrrr.
Spine tingling endorphins, fueled.
Fifty to …
Adrenaline filled, death defying jilt. Is this really ‘it’? The death throes of ego, as she goes into a fit. Water me quick, before I lilt.
A reminder of purpose. Shattered dreams. Long forgotten carved out streams. Festering wounds, filled with puss. I wondered, why all the fuss?
It’s all free flow now. There is no other place to hide, I am a slippery slope, you best learn to slide. I have taken the self care vow. I’m a big girl, wow!
No escape into escapism. Awareness of the other dimensions. It’s time to grow and forget the me’ism. It’s now all about accountability and we’ism.
The shedding of shame, no more blame or redundant guilt. The breaking down of the foundation, makes room for Planet Bazaaro to be built.
The possibilities are endless, a glimmer of hope. I am becoming inspired, infused. An empowered little dope.
Know the Tribal call, it lifts me up when I am no longer buoyant. Unable to keep afloat, too much weight in the bow. It’s a secret, for now, until I am jubilant.
No regrets, yet, dazed and confused, nothing to lose while flailing about. Completely amused. In an universal, constant state of entropy. No longer steeped in other’s doubt.
To be continued.