The Autobiographical Blues

Zero to ten

Eating daisies with the bewildered deer. Eyes darting, full of anticipatory fear. Fawning ingrained, don’t buck the system, my spunky way may have waned, with budding resistance.

Shining buttercup yellow under the chin. Cognitive dissonance was always near, no way to see a win. Much to my chagrin.

No apparent compromise. I could not hear the worldly wise. Where does one begin?

Eyes wide in wonderment and mainly without malice. At this point, mostly clueless that life might be flawed, although, it was mighty callous.

There was no time to be cute, or so it felt. I learned to walk before I crawled. Brought to my knees by the rattle of an angry belt. Learn to cower. I did melt.

Ten to twenty

The fears become reality, as the buck smells my scent, no more childhood, my sexual wonderment sacrificed, the male spent.

Naive and gullible, full of unhealthy attachments, it would take thirty more years to reduce and practice the art of detachments. To painfully learn self worth, finally, on my own turf.

Twenty to thirty

Survival of the fittest becomes the name of the game. Finger pointing, full of blame. Control freaks everywhere, I can’t breathe. It’s killing me. I am trapped, no where to flee.

I am dying inside. Yet, I hide. If I follow the rules of humanity, surely, I will find freedom and the courage to claim a life free from this impunity. She thought, with a mouth full of gullibility. Such a calamity.

Thirty to forty

Some wins, some loses, face to face with reality. Some fun, some grace, perhaps the time where life gets sung, at a quickened pace. Such a fascinating duality.

A small glimmer of independence noted. Oh lordy, what a crazy race!

No one can keep up with this super human pace. Not sure what happened, no time to emote, a decade done, all by rote.

Forty to fifty

Exhausted, fatigued, an overwhelmed feeling, on rinse and repeat. The all too familiar pattern. No longer intrigued. Admit defeat.

Please, I am hoping to blast off and escape to Saturn! Who turned off the lights, we need a latern.

A foreboding sense of realization. Knowing and accepting the inevitable. The end of one era, the changing of creation. Wow! Life is incredible and harsh. Sometimes, I can be such an arse.

Giving up is hard to do, ego destroyed, the humbling ensued. It feels like an eternal seasonal flu. Fevers and chills, oh, such thrills! Brrrrrrr.

Spine tingling endorphins, fueled.

Fifty to …

Adrenaline filled, death defying jilt. Is this really ‘it’? The death throes of ego, as she goes into a fit. Water me quick, before I lilt.

A reminder of purpose. Shattered dreams. Long forgotten carved out streams. Festering wounds, filled with puss. I wondered, why all the fuss?

It’s all free flow now. There is no other place to hide, I am a slippery slope, you best learn to slide. I have taken the self care vow. I’m a big girl, wow!

No escape into escapism. Awareness of the other dimensions. It’s time to grow and forget the me’ism. It’s now all about accountability and we’ism.

The shedding of shame, no more blame or redundant guilt. The breaking down of the foundation, makes room for Planet Bazaaro to be built.

The possibilities are endless, a glimmer of hope. I am becoming inspired, infused. An empowered little dope.

Know the Tribal call, it lifts me up when I am no longer buoyant. Unable to keep afloat, too much weight in the bow. It’s a secret, for now, until I am jubilant.

My MO…

No regrets, yet, dazed and confused, nothing to lose while flailing about. Completely amused. In an universal, constant state of entropy. No longer steeped in other’s doubt.

To be continued.

I Remember

As I wake up, I scream, ‘I am here, I am here! I shall hold all love in my heart, for, the essence of love is intoxicatingly dear. I refuse to succumb to this stifling fear.

I know, I know, it is confusing. Filled with mistrustful tensions, for the act of loving, is in the art of letting go, of the best of intentions. The acceptance of impermanence, whilst, allowing the humblest gesture of losing, to flow.

I breathe, I breathe, for all answers will be found on the ebb and flow tide of each lonely soliton. Our individuality collapses when we become one.

I stand, I stand, in peaceful resistance, for it is unconditional love which is in an interactive collision with eternal hate. If I stand and you stand, love will prevail, not long past the phase shift, a new paradigm emerges, as the one that already exists, the old submerges. It ceases and desists.

I will be brave, I will be brave, for it is my ancestors who brought me to this place. Their trials and tribulations were not made in haste. To honour and validate is the greatest gift of the human race. We must learn, so there is no more tragic, painful waste.

I am grateful, I am grateful, for despite all appearance, we are maturing. We love one another, despite all this posturing. It is time to reset, to balance, to begin a life of nurturing. Let the unravelling to unfold. This is the moment of befuddlement, time to be bold.

I urge you to meet me somewhere in the middle. No more judgements, just play your best fiddle. Visualize our best self. We must agree to disagree while converging, this is not a time for independent faith! It is in our best interest to triage the diverging, to keep us safe. This will be our communal wealth, full of abundance and the bestest of health.

We are here, we are here! Each and every atom, documented proof, right down to the infinite Planck. No need for fear. We are validation. It’s time for celebration, the only way to force traumatic resistance back into its rightful place. Stop being such a wanck!

We must begin to accept and acknowledge, our darkside is no different than our light side. It has a rightful place. Potential darkness lurks behind every beautiful face. Be aware, we have ALL fallen from our position of grace.

Please, no more war. It is by far, the most tragic use of power. So tainted, so sour, so heartwrenchingly dour. This may truly be human’s final hour.

Make love, not war! A peace offering, a bouquet of pretty flowers. Crimson red, an ocean of blood shed to offer our sons and daughters. Is this truly our finest hour?

sdd

Merging love

My heart is a tough love. Made of rubber, she might blubber, yet, keeps her rhythm through every surreal adventure. I pay homage to my clock ticker. She takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

The heart is an enlightened muscle that gets bigger and better with use. Handle with care because it withers and dies when subject to abuse.

I prefer the heart love when merged with the brain love, found above. It disappears when the seeker attempts to control. Tough love is natural, it is authentic and trustworthy. Open the taps, we must allow the flow.

No other love will send me topsy turvey like the love of the heart, when she is merged with the brain. Whole love is not a brain drain. All judgement ceases when working in unison. Trust is an art, requiring collaboration. A necessary component in completing this magnetic connection.

I highly recommend this merge on Planet Bazaaro.

Merged love is camouflaged

Universal PepTalk

…and it’s that simple…how?

…become united, find common ground amongst your differences and use strength in numbers for peaceful protest, write poetry, songs and stories, build momentum, don’t let the ‘fear’ of government stifle the voice, trust if we move in this direction even without all the ‘how or what next’ planned out, the answers will follow.

Stop doubting your emotions, ‘they’ are screaming from the slow sucking festering wounds inflicted on the good citizens. We allowed these corupt leaders, the political to the corporate directors and so on, down the line. Shit rolls down hill!

…drive the government crazy! Let’s get rid of this antiquated global system. People forget that the only difference between those in charge and those who follow, is fear of the unknown. Whether it is the queen or a homeless person from the streets, who disrobes in the hospital, I can assure you, both, look exactly the same underneath the garb…maybe the most notable difference being the fat content BMI.

I suspect the queen has the perfect amount or maybe a bit more fat, however, very rarely is a homeless person overweight, and, typically are malnourished. Despite differences in body mass, all are mere mortals and equal, despite our many shapes and size; same suffering occurs; same colour blood flows and so on.

Consequently, both receive the exact same treatment. …why should it be different anywhere else, outside the wall of the hospital?

People are people. It is a powerful perception that wealth and being white somehow makes you smarter or better, it causes us ‘regular’ folk to be intimated and unempowered. Powerful people know this and can smell vulnerability. This is used to their full advantage and intimidation is a tool to exercise power. In laymen/women’s terms, it’s called ABUSE!

In between birth and death is all a crap shoot. Location, status, wealth and even health, all can be challenged at the right time. ..humans can’t help it if born into a rich family, just as the opposite is true. How odd a society that blindly accepts this is how ‘life’ works especially if fortune enough to be one of those born on the better side of the continuum.

Block out the ‘so called negative people who are just jealous because they have to grovel to try and get ahead. How many Leaders start out with nothing? It happens, but, typically these ones suffer from Stockholm syndrome. As in abused household, you are a whiner if you point out the differences and you certainly don’t let on your background is less than affluent. Hence, you learn how to play their game quickly, for fear you will be outed….think I’m kidding?

A ‘good’ government focuses on its people and listens. A good government treats its citizens equal and offers appropriate assistance wherever needed.

I have never experienced a ‘good government’ and although I was young in the ’70’s, the smirkish slimy grin Senior Trudeau gave, while providing the West a display of his middle finger, is an act I’ll never forget. ..as a young teen, the interpretation of this act was ‘Fuck you’ people of the West, you have no power and I will give you Nothing …that’s my impression and objectively, this is confirmed by our staggering poverty levels, discrimination and down right incompetence. The hole in the money bag gets bigger and bigger, as a matter of fact, the hole is so big, it needs a Damn to cover it 🙂

. ..this is not just subjective data and it is an image inprinted in many people’s memories, I was sure he should have been fired on the spot, no lawyers, no dragging through the courts, etc. ..same with Gordon Campbell and his drunk driving charge. For some reason, even MADD did not appear to challenge Gordon’s criminal record…for me, I was left trying to explain to my two young teen drivers, its okay to drink and drive, well over the limit, but, only when you’re a politician holidaying in a different country. No criminal record, no punishment, just a nice cushy job where he could practice the art of half smirks while delivering the next bone head idea. ..blah blah blah.

..the game is: Baffle with horseshit and while everyone’s head is spinning go in for the under table deals. ..no one will ever catch on. Reminds me of a three ring circus, in more ways than I care to think.

Wake up people. Time to engage the midstructual brain. The issues we are struggling with are all symptoms of a much larger toxic bio hazardous wound inflicted upon us over and over and over and over again. ..voting a different government will not stop the hemorrhage.

The use of objective data and transparency is a must. A halt to money wastage is imperative and maybe our choice should be to get rid of the almighty dollar. The solutions are endless, if we can get our shit together and start particpating in the values, ethics and morals we want to shape our world in.

There are enough people around the globe who are genius at their given passion, can you imagine the power, if these were the people helping us move in the direction we would rather move in…collaborative, teams mature enough not to resort to childish ’round tables’ finger pointing, deflecting political morons who are as shocked as us when voted in.

Collaborative teams understand the well being of the team is of the utmost importance. It is inclusive of all roles required to run an effective crisis or to problem solve what appears to be an insurmountable problem. A well oiled team is Empowering and spirit lifting.

I am so sick of seeing leadership grandstand photo ops. I’m afraid blindly ‘trusting the government’ days are disappearing/gone. We are in the Era where knowledge is the new currency. We need to speed up the process, so we can roll up our sleeves and turn the rotting compost into usable rich soil

….come on ‘PIGMENTS’ (a class of no colour) let’s show what respect, tolerance, openness, teamwork and love can conquer. Keep your spiritual beliefs and what days of the year you decide to recognize and celebrate to yourself, but, be open about what it means to the Universal whole.

This is how enlightenment starts.
(last sentence – purely subjective).

Live and let love flourish xo let’s get at er. …pitter patter

Get yer Warrior on!